As a single mom to elementary school–aged children, I’m often asked how I balance an extremely demanding job as a city manager with an equally demanding role as a parent.

When I was considered for the interim city manager role in 2021, there were concerns regarding my ability to prioritize the organization and fulfill my duties. As a newly divorced woman in my 30’s, I allowed the external noises to manifest into doubt, not giving myself credit for my professional and personal accomplishments. I questioned whether I would have the support around me to be successful in this position and if it was the right time.

But let’s face it: old, young, new to the role, or seasoned—every single city manager has a life, family, and obligations outside of city hall, and there is no such thing as the “right” time. If there’s one thing about life that’s consistent, it’s that life is inconsistent and ever-changing.

Through determination, a positive approach to co-parenting, compassionate and understanding bosses, learning from mentors and their perspectives, and many Google calendar entries, I eventually found a formula and routine that worked without compromising either role as a parent or administrator.

In reflecting on the past three years in my city manager role, these are the greatest lessons learned in my growth as a city momager:

It’s Perfectly OK to Be Imperfect.

When I was first appointed, I was hard on myself whenever I missed anything involving my kids because I placed unnecessary pressure to be the impossible “perfect parent.” I learned that my kids are not gauging me by how many events I attend, but by the quality of time and care when I’m present. I’ve missed some of their sports games and events because of work obligations, but I’ve also balanced those absences with being involved behind the scenes as the “team parent” or volunteering at school on days off. When appropriate, I bring my kids to work events to help them understand what I do when I am not with them and how hard work leads to meaningful results.

Find an Environment that Supports Your Familial Goals and Priorities.

I once worked for someone before I had kids who was less sympathetic to the demands of parenting. Fortunately, since having kids, I’ve worked for bosses with children of various ages, and they understood the importance of maintaining a work-life balance. Some employers are more flexible than others by offering telecommuting or childcare options, but some roles cannot be accommodated with an alternative schedule. It’s important to be honest with yourself and your employer about workplace expectations and assess whether the workplace culture supports your family life.

Work-life Balance Is Not 50-50.

It’s extremely easy to get caught up in the social (media) expectations that work-life balance is always achieved in equal parts. On the contrary, there will be days, weeks, and maybe months where there is a clear tipping of the scale toward either side. However, making a concerted effort to regularly practice self-care is critical to maintaining your mental health and productivity. Maybe you’re unable to take a week-long vacation this year because of a major project, but instead, consider and plan for days off or extended weekends throughout the year for that much-needed mental break. I rarely take periods of time off longer than a few days, but I regularly take walks at the “Happiest Place on Earth,” get crafty on my cricut, and watch documentaries—all things I enjoy—to mentally balance the demands of work and parenting. All work and no play doesn’t just make you dull—it makes you and others around you unhappy.

Lean on Your Support System.

Identify people in your life who support you in their own unique ways and don’t be afraid, embarrassed, or prideful to ask for help. You may have a specific friend who is your go-to for impromptu coffee runs, or a family member who helps with last-minute changes to your schedule. Maybe there is a trusted mentor you can seek advice from. A strong support system is important; these are people who care about you and are willing to assist when possible. You’d do the same for them, so let them be there for you. #friendship

Everything Must Be on a Schedule or List.

Whether it’s for meal prepping, meetings, or games and practices, everything is on a schedule. Having everything on a schedule doesn’t always mean that I’m able to stick to it because of unforeseen circumstances, but this gives a birds’ eye view of my time and helps prioritize obligations while managing realistic expectations.

As employers, it’s important to acknowledge the shift in how the next generation of the workforce perceives work-life balance and priorities, especially when raising a family while rising in their careers. Through compassion, encouragement, and communication, we can break down the stigma that parenting hinders people from prioritizing the organization or promoting, especially to executive positions.

For those doubting your own value, skills, and abilities, you’d be surprised at the resilience you have when faced with new or challenging circumstances. Don’t let your doubt psych you out; embrace new opportunities with confidence. You can do it.

CHRISTINE CORDON is city manager of Westminster, California, USA.