“In Our Region” is PM’s new column written by ICMA’s regional directors. In this edition, Midwest Regional Director Matt Fulton reflects on the book Love Your Enemies by Arthur Brooks, after hearing him speak at the 2025 ICMA Annual Conference in Tampa. The message of making connections with those who may disagree with us is more important now than ever.

As a reminder to ICMA Credentialed Managers, you can receive 10 hours credit for each professional book that you read.

What book did you choose to highlight and why?

I enjoyed listening to Arthur Brooks at the ICMA Annual Conference last October and decided to choose his book, Love Your Enemies. Given the polarization and division we see and experience in our communities today, we can all benefit from learning how to turn contempt into warm-heartedness. It is especially important for those serving in local government where challenging conversations are occurring more frequently. This book offers both practical tools and a hopeful message.

How did the book encourage you to think more broadly or change your mind about an issue?

This book helped me reflect on my too-frequent tendency to react to a conversation or discussion without much consideration or appreciation for the reasonable interests of the other person. As this book guides us, with intentional listening and approaching a conversation with warm-heartedness instead of contempt, there is much greater opportunity to create a more positive personal connection and appreciation for the conversation. This approach will undoubtedly help find a more respectful and acceptable solution to whatever issue is being discussed.

The book also brings up the value of storytelling and striving to find a more personal and relatable connection. Brooks’s idea that “contempt is the conviction of another’s worthlessness” helped me recognize moments where I have observed, and likely participated in, public discussions that devolved into personal conflicts with nothing being accomplished. The book helped me appreciate the value of listening with an open and respectful mind. Its message reminded me how useful intentional listening is when working to strengthen and improve civic leadership.

Can you identify practical strategies from the book that could be applied in local government?

There are a few examples in which my career in local government would have benefited from implementing the recommendations from the book:

Warm-heartedness in Disagreement: In this disruptive local government environment, it is important to handle challenging discussions in a way that builds trust rather than destroying it. Instead of approaching conversations with contempt for the other party, find a way to use warm-heartedness and respect for the other party’s perspectives before reacting.

Frameworks for Better Disagreements: Find a way to structure conversations in a way that make all parties feel seen and heard.

Authentic Listening: In any conversation, talking instead of listening becomes a barrier to reaching resolution. Learning to use questions instead of rebuttals will help defuse tension during council meetings, community forums, and difficult negotiations.

Leading by Example: Elected bodies, the organization, and community members are always watching the actions of executive leadership. Leading by example is an essential part of successfully building trust. Always model and support a positive and respectful civil dialogue, making it a consistent norm for staff, councils, and the public.

Did you find anything in the book that was particularly relevant to your region?

The book’s message and practical strategies are applicable universally. Within the Midwest region, there have been numerous communities that have considered a change in their form of government. These types of conversations and decisions can have generational impacts on the direction and success of the community. As a result, there can be intense feelings on the topic, and discussions can easily become contentious. Reframing discussions to find the value underlying someone’s argument can help bridge divides in difficult conversations.

Have you already implemented any ideas from the book?

My intent is to use the opportunities I have meeting with city managers, student chapters, state associations, and community leaders in the Midwest to practice the strategies from this book. The book will also resonate with our Managers in Transition community, who are already navigating numerous challenges in their job search. Helping this community of professionals appreciate the value of warm-heartedness versus contempt may be helpful in building their confidence levels and in developing a more personable approach to securing their next opportunity.

Did any part of the book spark a memory or experience you’d like to share?

I was reminded of a handful of community conflicts I navigated as a city manager, including advocating for the construction of a community center and working toward a community referendum. These were situations where I used data and relevant community demographics, which, in my mind, clearly supported the issue. Both were unsuccessful. I wonder what the results would have been if I had focused more on finding a way to create personal connections on the value of these topics and ensuring that all voices were being heard. The book reinforced to me that leadership is often less about having the perfect answer and more about creating a climate where honest dialogue can occur.

KATE FITZPATRICK is ICMA’s northeast regional director (kfitzpatrick@icma.org).