In the web of our professional journeys, there often comes a defining moment, an encounter that serves as a turning point. Mine was a candid conversation with a colleague at a previous job. Picture this: I was approached by someone whose opinion I valued, and their words cut through the professional facade straight to the core of my character. “Scott, one day you’re going to be a great city manager, but there’s one thing you’ve got to get under control — your ego,” they said. Ouch. It stung, and it cut deep.

Receiving such unfiltered feedback isn’t a stroll in the park. It’s more like navigating a maze of discomfort, but ironically, I found solace in the discomfort. This colleague handed me a stack of papers detailing the traits of an egotist and the pitfalls of egocentrism. The reading material alone was a wake-up call, signaling the depth of self-reflection that lay ahead.

What unfolded next was a journey of humility, openness, and raw introspection. I did not recoil from the critique; instead, I embraced it. In a move that might seem unconventional, I gathered the courage to confront my blind spots head-on. I initiated meetings with 13 coworkers and a councilmember, inviting them to share their honest perspectives on my weaknesses and deficiencies. I braced myself for the hard truths.

The sessions were a mixed bag. Some colleagues kept it real, offering unfiltered insights, while others opted for the diplomatic route, choosing only to highlight my positive attributes. Two chose silence, and I respected their decision not to participate. It was a humbling experience that left me with a mountain of self-discovery to climb.

Now, what does one do with such invaluable insights? The easy path would have been to sweep it under the rug, never to be discussed again. Instead, I chose transparency and accountability. I shared the entire experience with as many people as I could, turning my vulnerability into a tool for transformation. This was not just about acknowledging my flaws; it was about committing to change.

Changing, however, is no easy feat. It’s not a switch that flips overnight. I embarked on a continuous journey, adjusting my perspective, recalibrating my attitude, reshaping my interactions with others, and even refining my body language. Each step was a deliberate move toward personal evolution, a testament to the fact that growth is a gradual process.

The truth is we encounter trials, challenges, and difficult people daily. It is an inescapable part of the professional landscape. But within these challenges lies the opportunity for growth. My journey taught me some invaluable lessons:

1. Not everyone has your best interests at heart (and that’s okay).

Embracing vulnerability means acknowledging that not everyone in your professional circle is a cheerleader. Some will challenge you, and that’s where growth happens.

2. Don’t let any of the harsh critiques define you.

Criticism, when constructive, is a pathway to improvement. It is not a label but a stepping stone to a better version of yourself.

3. Embrace the unpleasant conversations.

Growth is often uncomfortable. Embracing difficult conversations is a testament to your commitment to personal and professional development.

4. Be humble.

Humility is not a weakness but a strength. It opens doors to learning, understanding, and genuine connection.

5. All that matters is what you do next.

The past is an anchor only if you allow it to be. Your actions in the present and the future define your trajectory. The choices we make in the aftermath of self-discovery determine the course of our journey.

So, in the end, how do we grow? We expose ourselves to vulnerability, confront the hard truths, take risks, and embrace change. Growth is not a destination but a continuous process fueled by intentional self-improvement. I am, and always will be, a work in progress, but each step I take is a testament to my commitment to becoming the best version of myself. Let this be an invitation for you to embark on your own journey of self-discovery and professional growth, one humbling step at a time!

Oh, and in the event our paths intersect, I welcome your thoughtful insights into my personal journey of ongoing self-reflection and professional development. I am all ears when you speak because the more people I can hear from the better, leaving no stone unturned. Embracing accountability and malleability as cornerstones, I am wholly dedicated to continuous improvement, with your help, of course!

SCOTT TRUJILLO is assistant city manager of Calabasas, California.