Sometimes the kindest thing a leader can do is tell someone something they don't want to hear. That's the message Kim Scott, bestselling author of Radical Candor and former executive at Google and Apple, brought to the 2026 ICMA Annual Conference in Long Beach, California.

Scott opened with a story from her early days at Google. After delivering what she thought was a wildly successful presentation, her boss pulled her aside. The problem? Scott had said "um" about every third word in her speech. Scott brushed off the criticism. Her boss suggested a speech coach, but Scott dismissed that, too. Her boss finally said, “I can see I need to be more direct with you. When you say ‘um’ so much, it makes you sound stupid.”

That really made Scott stop and think. She realized her boss cared about her personally (not just as an employee but as a human being) and also challenged her directly. "It was the kindest thing she could have done for me at that moment in my career," Scott recalled.

When Being Nice Isn't So Nice

Scott explained that leaders frequently fall into three traps when they fail to balance those qualities. Obnoxious aggression happens when leaders challenge others without demonstrating care. Manipulative insincerity occurs when they do neither, allowing passive-aggressive behavior and distrust to flourish.

But the most common mistake, Scott argued, is ruinous empathy: caring so much about someone's feelings that you avoid telling them something they need to hear.

She told a story about an employee named Bob. Although Bob was smart, funny, and well-liked, his work consistently fell short. Rather than address the problem directly, Scott offered vague encouragement for 10 months, even as his colleagues struggled to compensate for his poor performance. Eventually, she had to fire him. His response was devastating: "Why didn't you tell me?"

Scott realized that her reluctance to hurt Bob's feelings had ultimately harmed him, his colleagues, and the organization. Worse, she acknowledged that part of her hesitation came from worrying about her own reputation if Bob became upset.

The lesson for local government leaders? Avoiding uncomfortable conversations doesn't necessarily protect relationships. Sometimes it undermines them.

Scott also warned against tolerating obnoxious aggression. Leaders shouldn't hesitate to tell someone when their behavior is damaging others. As she emphasized, the radical candor framework isn't a personality test for labeling colleagues; it's a compass for guiding conversations toward greater care and honesty.

Feedback Starts at the Top

Creating a culture of candor begins not with giving criticism, Scott emphasized, but with asking for it. Rather than asking employees, "Do you have any feedback for me?" she recommended more specific, open-ended questions. Her favorite: "What could I do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me?"

Then comes the hard part: staying quiet long enough to hear the answer. "Close your mouth and count to six," Scott advised, explaining that silence creates space for people to speak honestly.

When feedback arrives, leaders should listen to understand rather than defend themselves. Even when they disagree, Scott suggested finding the small portion of the criticism they can acknowledge before explaining their perspective.

After all, disagreement itself isn't necessarily destructive. It's the disagreement that goes unspoken, festers, and eventually erupts that damages relationships.

Two-Minute Conversations That Make a Difference

Scott encouraged leaders to stop treating feedback as something reserved for annual performance reviews. Some of the most valuable advice of her career, she said, came during spontaneous, two-minute conversations.

These exchanges should happen face-to-face whenever possible, not through email or workplace messaging platforms.

She also offered a practical framework for making feedback specific and actionable: CORE—Context, Observation, Result, and Next Step. Rather than criticizing someone's personality, explain what happened, describe the behavior, identify its impact, and suggest what should happen next.

Praise deserves the same attention. Scott urged leaders to recognize good work frequently and specifically, rather than using compliments merely to soften criticism.

And when a difficult conversation produces sadness, anger, or defensiveness? Don't abandon the message. Demonstrate more care, get curious about the person's reaction, and adjust the delivery.

As Scott emphasized, radical candor is measured not at the speaker's mouth, but at the listener's ear.

A Challenge for Every Leader

Scott closed with a simple assignment: Within 24 hours, ask someone for feedback. Choose a question, identify the person, and put the conversation on your calendar. It's a small action with potentially significant consequences.

For local government managers navigating difficult decisions, demanding workloads, and complex relationships, Scott's message offered a powerful reminder: Caring about people and holding them accountable aren't competing responsibilities. They're two sides of great leadership.

Check out ICMAtv to see more from the 2026 ICMA Annual Conference!